"I'm on the hunt for who I've not yet become."

This blog began three years ago under the name Pensive Nights, the result of late night TED Talks and mild procrastination. As the name implies, I would spend many nights under the stars contemplating life -- its meaning, its purpose, everything. It was a deep topic for someone with such a narrow scope of the world at the time. I was riding the public education system and living in a status quo bubble. It was before I had any real responsibilities or any real experiences that would have vouched for much. I started this blog to reflect and to explore -- to reflect on how my past aspirations led to my current ones and to explore little by little what I had yet to know. After a few posts, my blog quickly became inactive. Earlier this year, I decided to take down my archives and start anew -- hopefully for the long run.

This blog now falls under the name "Courage, dear heart." The quote comes from The Chronicles of Narnia - The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis. I have always had a minor obsession with quotes and often turn to them when in need of inspiration or a pick-me-up. I felt this one was appropriate because when I started my undergraduate career, I found much of the world around me to be intimidating from the caliber of the students surrounding me to navigating the plethora of opportunities now open to me. Though there was excitement in my heart at the new journey ahead of me, I would often have to step back and take a deep breath before moving forward again. Whether it be joining a new team or going in for a job interview, this quote is what resounded in the auditorium of my mind each time. "Courage, dear heart."

Perhaps I have no better insight now than I did three years ago, but my life is definitely not the same as it was before. I am currently on a break from ten-week quarters that pass by at breakneck speeds. I am away from bleary-eyed mornings from too few hours of sleep and stress levels that literally brought my progress to a standstill. Yet, I actually cannot wait to go back to those days because though those days were filled with too many cups of coffee and too many maddening hours of silence at the library, they were also filled with laughter and "bubble tea" and late night food runs. There was something new around every corner if you took the time to slow down to take a look. College is like a roller coaster. It can be mildly (or not so mildly) terrifying. It has its ups and downs. Some days will feel heavy and slow like a roller coaster's ascent, but others will feel like you are plummeting, cramming for that deadline or just having a bad day. You are a turmoil of emotions while you are on the ride, but once you get off, you realize it was actually kind of fun.

This blog will likely be a patchwork of reflection, inspiration, and poetry, but it is all a little up in the air. Maybe I will talk tech or black holes or blueberry pancakes. Whether you decide this is not for you or I disappear off the face of the earth is yet to be known, but either way, enjoy this ride that is life.

Five facts about me:

1. I am currently an undergraduate student.

2. I dream very vividly. Sometimes lucidly.

3. I wrap my life in metaphors.

4, My spirit animal is a fox.

5. I am an introvert.